Spoiled Me

My wonderful, generous, amazing boyfriend just completely spoiled me. I graduate next Friday from university (the official ceremony), and he bought me an early graduation present, even though it won't arrive until after. Wanna know what I got??
A massage table!! A freaking MASSAGE TABLE!! In HOT PINK nonetheless. I'm so ridiculously happy. What a wonderful, wonderful man. Love.

Annoying Students

Why is it that stupid people in classes love to ask about the exam or the midterm three weeks before you've even started review? We've already been told I don't know how many times that all the exams are multiple choice. Who hasn't taken a multiple choice exam? And do you really think that asking "so how hard are the questions going to be?" is going to actually give you any sort of gauge? Every teacher I have ever heard answer that question says something to the effect of "if you've been paying attention to the material, not too hard". And really, is it necessary to interrupt every class with "is this going to be on the exam"? Of COURSE it's going to be on the exam. Why the heck else would they be teaching us it?

You are just stupid. You are wasting our time. Shut up.

Tenure

I received an email notification that my favourite professor of all time is being considered for tenure at the university he left us for. I could not think of a better thing to happen for him. The email asked me for a contribution letter for his file. I have until September to submit it, which I most definitely will do. The only question is, what to say?

How can I write a letter that adequately represents my admiration for this professor who single-handedly ignited my interest in anthropology? What words can I use that will do justice to the enthusiasm and passion he exhibits for his subject, and his drive to get to his students - to reach them on an individual level? The energy that he has while teaching is incredible. He is entertaining; he is informative; he makes his students listen up and take notice. He is, without a doubt, the best professor I have ever had the pleasure to have had. The students here petitioned the department to offer him more to somehow entice him to stay, which I think is incredible testimony to his impact.

This letter, although I know it will be only one of hundreds, feels incredibly important to me. It's going to take me some time to write.

Travel

I'm now in home-town for the weekend. I travelled directly here after college yesterday, and the timing of the buses worked out surprisingly well. I took the city bus straight from the college to the intercity bus terminal in downtown university town, where the greyhound was just pulling up. I got on there and rode for 2 & 1/2 hours to the major city of transfer, where I had a 1/2 hour layover before getting on greyhound number 2 for home-town.

Let me tell you, the greyhound they had for that trip was the geriatric bus. I don't mean that the bus was full of old people, I mean that the bus itself must have been built in the 1950s. It had old, rather dirty feeling, uncomfortable seats that scratched at any exposed skin (just a t-shirt folks, let's not get excited) and poked rather sharply at your bum no matter how you sat. As an added benefit it seemed to be on it's last legs and shuddered quite dramatically whenever it started or upgeared as it increased in speed. There was also the rattling and flapping sound of straps flying madly in the wind behind the bus, except that the sound seemed to be coming directly from below me, making me wonder if the floor below me was about to collapse, and would I suddenly end up in the cargo holds below the bus? To add to that, every time we slowed due to traffic or a stop we were treated to delightful shakings of our bodies such that our inner organs rattled around inside our rib cages and our meals threatened to come up again.

This was more than a threat for the guy sitting directly behind me. He repeatedly vomited, sometimes making it to the small cramped toilet at the back of the bus with the door that always slammed, and sometimes only vomiting into the garbage bags provided and then disposing of those. It didn't take long before the bus smelled sickly of vomit. Add to that that men can't seem to get it into their heads that standing up to pee on a moving vehicle is a dumb idea, and every time the bathroom door opened there was a waft of urine added to the vomit stench.

As if that wasn't enough, the rather scruffy looking student sitting next to me decided to spend our 15 minute break in no-where, Ontario, smoking a joint, so for the last 3 hours of the trip I had the delightful smell of marijuana mixed in with the vomit and the urine. Hurrah!

However, I made it home, and it's nice to be here. It's good to see the family, and a lot of fun to talk to Mum about last-minute wedding details. I saw my optometrist today, who remarked that she's been seeing me since I was about 13, and here I am graduated university and an adult and all. Emma and I will be off to the craft store today to work on the centrepieces. Fun fun!

Consent

I'm currently sitting in my room running over my consent as though it were lines for a play. I have to perform it on Wednesday at lunch as my first oral practical exam, worth 5% of my grade. Not a huge chunk, but one that I'll be very upset if I get less than 5% for, considering that all it is is lines. Here's what I've been going over and over and over. Every massage, according to the books in Ontario, should have a consent this thorough. There are thirty points. I've bolded them all for you. Are your massage therapists up to snuff?
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Hello, my name is Haley and I'll be your student massage therapist for the day. Have you ever had a massage before?
No, well I think this is going to go really well and I hope you find it a good experience. What brings you in to see me today?
Oh, you're feeling a lot of tension in general and you’re looking to relax more? I think that’s something we can work with. You’re in for an hour long relaxation massage then. As you know the fees for the college are $32 for the hour (even though licensed massage therapists charge $70) and you can pay at the front desk on your way out.

With a full body relaxation I generally include the back, back of the legs, front of the legs, feet, abdomen, arms and hands, and head neck and shoulders, including the face and scalp. Are there any areas you would like me to focus more on or to avoid?

Yes, I can certainly work more on the lower back. That’s not a problem at all. Do you have any allergies I should be aware of?

No? Excellent.

You may find that you sleep better tonight, have a slightly improved range of motion, or feel generally more relaxed following treatment. These are some of the benefits of a massage. So you know, there are certain risks associated with the treatment. Most commonly is bruising, which happens if I apply pressure that is too deep for you. To minimize this I’m going to ask you about the pressure and your comfort level throughout the massage. I would ask that you feel free to tell me at any time if the pressure is too deep or too light. Of course you have the right to refuse, alter, or rescind your consent at any time, and if you become uncomfortable and wish to stop altogether or change the area of treatment, please tell me right away.

Also, be aware that some of the side effects that I cannot control and that vary by individual are increased urination, general body soreness, and headache. These are completely normal and should subside in 24-48 hours. If you decide at any time that massage therapy is not the right treatment for you I can provide you with referrals to physiotherapists, chiropractors, or yoga or pilates instructors. Also there are home-care options, such as warm baths and certain stretches that I can show you. Do you have any questions at this point?

In preparation for the massage I will be leaving the room, and you can undress to your comfort level, feeling free to leave on any article of clothing you wish, and lie between the two sheets on your stomach on the table. When you’re on your stomach I will be putting one pillow under your abdomen and another under your ankles for support. In the process of the massage I will be asking you to turn over onto your back, at which point the pillows will be repositioned to under your head and knees. At all times you will be covered with the top sheet, and I will only be uncovering the area that I am working on at that time.

For the back, this will be the superior posterior iliac spine, which is about to here (indicate line where top of underwear sit). For the back of the leg the landmarks are the inferior aspect of the iliac crest and the lateral border of the sacrum, which is essentially like a high cut bathing suit. For the front of the leg I undrape to the anterior superior iliac spine, which is, again, about like a bathing suit. For the abdomen the landmarks are the anterior superior iliac spine and the xyphoid process and the sternal angle, which leaves this area uncovered (indicate area above underwear line and below bra line). For the head, neck, and arms, you will be covered from the sternal angle downwards, leaving from this area upwards uncovered (indicate from about armpit level upwards).

I anticipate that following the massage you will be feeling less muscle stiffness and be more relaxed. If you choose not to have massage therapy you may find that you continue to feel tightness and stress. At times it may be necessary to do an assessment or re-assessment so that we can both track your progress, and I can modify my techniques as need be. I will inform you prior to these assessments. Also, there may be some instances where massage therapy could be harmful, such as high fever or diabetes with complications. If you presented with these contraindications, I would not be able to treat.

Do you understand everything? Any questions?

No? Then do I have your consent to treat?

Excellent. Will you require any assistance undressing or getting on or off the table?

No? Then I will now leave the room to wash my hands, and I will knock before re-entering to make sure you are ready for me.

Fish Sitting

Lately Rumble has been spending a lot of time sitting on my bed, staring upwards, like this:
Why? Because of Benjamin, the fish, who's been living on the top of my bookshelf for his own protection.
Benjamin isn't mine, but I've been watching him...so has Rumble.

Kissing: the new cure

All children know that the best way to fix a bo-bo is to have it kissed by Mom. Turns out, they may very well be on to something. Previous studies have found that infants kissed by Mom experience increased relaxation, which promotes healing, but a new study put out in 2006 suggests that the health benefits of kissing aren't limited to children.

In a study of 24 patients suffering from mild allergic rhinitis (hay fever) or mild allergic dermatitis (eczema), it was found that kissing a spouse or lover for 30 minutes significantly decreases the production of an allergen-specific chemical in the body(1). In contrast, those who only embraced for 30 minutes were found to have no decrease in the chemical.

Does that sound like a better fix than antihistamines? I'd say so.

1. Kimata, H. Kissing selectively decreases allergen-specific IgE production in atopic patients. Journal of Psychosomatic Research, 60(2006): 545-547.

Male-bashing

I survived my first week of college, and loved just about every second of it. Palpation is going to be boring for the first few weeks, because it's covering study skills until we've learned enough anatomy in RA to start actually palpating things. I'm getting to know my fellow classmates. I've at least got all their names down, which many of them haven't yet. There are 20 other people in my class, and only 2 of them are guys. It's not unusual to have the majority of students in a massage therapy program be women, but our class has the lowest ratio of any at the school. Most are closer to a 60-40 split at least.

As we started to talk to each other, and get to know each other a little more, I found that the women were sliding into male-bashing as a way to find common ground. Many of the women are divorced, a few quite recently, and only a few married. I've noticed that this is one of the topics that many women turn to when conversing with other women. I suppose it's assumed to be something that all women can share, because they all must have had bad experiences with men. More than that, though, it assumes that these are more than just singular bad experiences, but that men themselves are fundamentally flawed.

Men never:
Do dishes
Do laundry
Clean the bathroom
Put the seat done
Cook
Take care of kids
Support the women
etc, etc, etc.

The more I listen to these conversations (and I listen, I don't contribute), the more I think that these women are hypocrites. The biggest complaint is that they're not appreciated. "If only I felt more appreciated, I wouldn't mind doing all the work that I do for him."

I have to ask, if all you can say about your husband/significant other is negative, are you really appreciating him? Is it possible that your constant gripping about him and nagging at everything is making him feel unappreciated and unwilling to participate?

If all he does is truly bad, then why are you with him to begin with?

Psychology will tell us that the more you say something out loud, or think it, the more you believe it to be true. People with low self-esteem are taught to create a mantra that says something like, "I am beautiful; I am smart; I am wanted", to repeat to themselves to help them appreciate their own value. If you, as a woman, are constantly complaining that your s/o does nothing, and doesn't appreciate you, then you're going to start believing it more and more, and you will harm your relationship.

This male-bashing is only hurting yourself. If it's true, and the relationship isn't keeping you happy, fix it, or get out. If it's not, shut up, because you're damning yourself.

I hear these conversations, I watch quietly observing, and I wonder: what can I do, or say, to change the angle? What can I do or say to make these women realize what they're doing, and how sad and pathetic they're making themselves look?

Then someone turns to me and looks expectantly for a contribution, or a laugh or smile of agreement and encouragement. Instead I beam a smile at them and say, "My Greg is wonderful, and I couldn't be happier." After all, it's true. He does dishes, he supports my every move, he loves me unconditionally, and he's always open to discussions on how to make our relationship work even better. I can't think that he's the only man like that out there (I know my Mum found one for her).

So is the problem really the men, or is it the women who expect men to be the problem?

College Update

I've now finished my second day of college, and I am feeling more and more like this is what I'm supposed to be doing. I thought I'd take the opportunity to tell you all about what it's like.

I get up early, early in the morning (5:30) so that I have time to shower and eat breakfast and ease into my day before heading out the door at 6:30. I thought the mornings would be tough, but I found that because the lack of sleep is causing me to crash earlier in the evenings, getting up isn't as hard as I thought it would be. At 6:30 I walk the 10 minutes to the express bus stop, where I catch the first bus to the mall, where I wait for 5-8 minutes for the second bus which takes me to the edge of the industrial park, where I get the third bus that takes me to the college. It's a lot of buses, but the timing is pretty good, so I get to the college in a little over an hour.

The first day I got to where the third bus should be, and was totally thrown by the fact that it's not a bus at all. It's a van with 4 benches, so it seats 8, or, I suppose if you were to cram in and completely violate social space, 12. Really there are only 8 belts, even though no one uses them. I probably would have missed the van/bus all together if it hadn't been for this guy that got off the second bus in front of me and made a b-line for the van. It is marked as belonging to the transit commission, and has a route number pinned to the passenger side visor, but I was looking for a bus, not a van. You then ride around the route and let the driver know when you want off, and he stops the van, the appropriate people pile out to let you out, and then climb back in.

I then got to listen to an orientation speech by all the administration people, explaining who they were and what they did. I also got to see my classmates for the first time. There are 21 of us in our stream, and about 100 in the college all together.

All day Monday I have Anatomy and Physiology, taught to us by a practicing chiropractor. I've looked over the course outline, and at least the first half of it is stuff that I covered in grade 11 and 12 biology and chemistry. In fact, some of the stuff we were being taught I already know better than how they're teaching it. (They're teaching Bohr's diagrams for atoms, and I know about the different shaped orbitals, and electron pairing, and all that good stuff.)

Tuesday morning I have Professional Development which is where we deal with all the ethics and legal stuff. It's also where I learned the difference between a Massage Therapist and a masseuse. An RMT (Registered Massage Therapist) or MT is someone that has gone through their 2200 hours of training and passed the boards, or OSCEs. That's someone who is governed by a licensing body and maintains certain standards. A masseuse, on the other hand, has not necessarily been trained, and is not registered with a higher power. That starts to be where we get into the tricky stuff about RMTs being health care professionals, and everyone else practicing massage not being those, and then the sketchy and illegal aspects of massage parlors and the dreaded suggestion of "happy endings".

While receiving this bit of news I had the somewhat ironic idea of posting a plaque in my office stating "I am a Health Care Professional - Not a Prostitute". However that wouldn't be professional, no matter how amusing I might find the idea.

Tuesday afternoons I have massage theory and technique, which is where I'll learn most of the practical application, although the first few classes are on setting up the table, sheet draping, and consent, so more written work mostly.

During lunch break the fourth term students decided to try to make the first term students dance. No one did. It wasn't mean spirited or anything, they're just rather rambunctious. That's the one big difference between university and college (at least my college): the students interact with teachers almost as peers, and are exceptionally friendly with each other.

After classes are over I get back on the bus (which is actually a bus in the afternoons, and not the van), and reverse the travel process to get home again. Today I stopped off in downtown to buy a bus pass since our student cards from university are not valid as bus passes in the summer (darn!). However, since my university student card doesn't expire until NEXT June, I will have free ride on all the buses in the fall and winter terms again, mwa haha. Watch me take advantage of the system.

Now I'm home, and I'm done my homework. Ha! Homework! I actually get assigned daily homework! I'm going to indulge in a little tv, and then head to bed, just to do it all over again tomorrow! Tomorrow is MTT again and then regional anatomy.